A Story After Three

*I intended to write this post during my son's first birthday, but got delayed due to my final masters exam---


After three...

It was my third year masters of family med examination..40 weeks POA..when there was finally some signs you were about to come out into the world.

The contractions started during the exam..OSCE stations were fuzzy in between..I remembered mumbling through the last station..hand examination..dunno what the heck i actually said, my descriptions were haphazard when that examination was the one i practiced and practiced beforehand! luckily i felt that the examiner also was only halfhearing what i said as it was more than 5 pm and I think his mind was also set on going back..he simply said 'ok lah' after i finised and hurriedly went off with actually 1 more minute before time actually ends..i huffed my way out..
I remember discussing with your dad..whether should wait n deliver in HUSM or go back to K.Terengganu..contractions were still irregular, so we decided to go back..VE in Klinik Batu Rakit..the opening of the cervix; os was almost 3 cm. but after resting that night, contractions slowed..i was able to sleep..on waking up contrations were still irregular..at noon it was one in every 15 minutes. Taking note that beds would usually be available in the afternoon, we only went to the hospital after zuhur..even then, I waited 1 to 2 hours after being clerked in the admission room to get a bed..in the third class ward.

At 6 pm, got a bed in 1 B..os was still 3 cm. Feeling a bit anxious as the contractions, tho regular, were mild..i remember walking around the ward and did not even sit after isya' prayer..noting this, a nurse kindly offered a VE and 'SnS' ;) surprised, she said os was already 5 cm..''Dr tak nampak macam sakit pun..!' I was also surprised as i did not really feel like a 5 cm..sure, there were some regular contraction but it was not really the deep pain contraction type..it was 10 pm and i informed your dad, and off to the labour room we went with lots of selawat and prayers..

11 pm, ops the labour room MO was previously my HO..knowing her, I was quite confident with her and also the specialist who came at 11pm (mind you, specialist doing rounds at 11 pm!) which lessened my anxiousness..she put my branula for antibiotics (for GBS)..and offered me something for pain which i declined...offered me for ARM (rupture of membrane) which I declined as i wanted to give some time for the antibiotic to work..at 12 midnight, the MO reassessed me, I was still 5 to 6 com and did ARM..then..it started..the contractions were tear jerking..tasting the pain was nervewrecking..but i thought of you my baby, going through the birth canal..fighting through.. i wanted to fight with you and support you.. .i remember saying to myself with every surge 'you can do it baby, ummi have waited for so long to see you'..taking a deep breath with each surge, and releasing it with some control and tasbih through my lips..

After only 5 or 6 'controllable' deep contractions, I felt a deep pain searing through my buttock, it felt like my sacrum was going to burst! i mustered all my strength to call for the nurse who was running around..she uttered that it was impossible that I was going to deliver as it was only 40 mins post ARM..but as she checked 'alamak fully dah ni Dr', I felt the surge of bearing down..'saya dah tak boleh tahan dah'..'nanti kejap Dr!' I could sense the panic in her voice as she scrambled to open the delivery set and suction, but I simply had to push as i felt the surge and barely heard her voice asking me to 'put my buttock down'..and there you were! the nurse attempted some suction while you already were crying..and placed you on my belly..what a relief it felt..to see you..alhamdulillah2 i whispered..tears welled in my eyes with such a feeling of gratitude to Him to see you all pink and wriggly..

It seems so recent that this happened..and now, after a bit more than a year, how fast you've grown!all these while you loved to be picked up and cuddled..and now you hate to be pickedup while you were having fun bear-walking around the house!

dearest Imran Nasry..if you are reading this later on, know that every pain I felt giving birth to you melted seeing your first smile (I hope to remember this when I face your tantrums if you have it later;) )..n although you'll only grow more and more 'needless' of me, know that whenever you do fall and need any comforting, do know that my arms will always be open for you that you'll forever be my little man:) Ummi doakan Imran sentiasa dilindungiNya dn diberi hidayah dn petunjukNya dlm segala urusan..n may you be a protector and loving brother to all your sisters..I pray that you will always remember what is important in this life is the preparation for the next..and please remember to give some sadaqah for ummi and abah when n after we leave this temporary world..